This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
