I love black thongs
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
