is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
