Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize