Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
