Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
