Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
