I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
