I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Duck Duck Cougar?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
