I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize