I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
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