he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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