whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
