I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
