Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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