If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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