is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
