Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

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(650): View more from California

I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes

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(517): View more from Michigan

Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

I don't even want to know

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(631): View more from New York

He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?

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(818): View more from California

Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.

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(317): View more from Indiana

We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies

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