try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
