was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
