you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
