I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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