1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I will pee on everything he values.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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