So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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