Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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