well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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