You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize