the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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