Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
