Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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