question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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