Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I have demons in me.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
