This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
