You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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