my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
