i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
