woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
