ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
