I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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