Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
