Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
