When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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