Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
time to smoke my breakfast
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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