Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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