I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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