seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
