How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
