we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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