that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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