he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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