it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
