so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
