OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
