Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
