apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize