P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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