They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
