Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
