i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
