she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
