Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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