no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
