Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
