Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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